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Plays, 4th June, 2016 - Overwatch, Dangerous Golf, and Dead Island -

I've only played this for about an hour, so it's far too early to say anything of any real value (sorry if you're reading this hoping for value), but The Tomorrow Children is a bit of an odd game. It's a PS4 exclusive that sort of resembles Minecraft (in that you mine for resources), but in an oppressive world with massive soviet overtones. I used a pickaxe, shovel, and a more fancy drill to mine resources from inside what looked like a giant golf ball, then placed them in a loading zone for a hovering truck to transport back to my home town. While this was happening I could see a Godzilla-like beast slowly plodding towards the settlement, before it arrived, smashed its fists on the ground and then seemed to retreat after taking a few rockets to the face (I have no idea how anyone got hold of rocket launchers, but it's a good job they did).

I don't know where the game goes from here and to what extent it expands beyond mining (there are building aspects too), but so far it's certainly interesting. There's an open beta running all weekend, so give it a whirl.

Dangerous Golf, eh? More like NOT DANGEROUS GOLF, MORE LIKE. There aren't any people about! Who is this a Danger to? Insurance companies? The reputation of painters and decorators? To the drawing power of various stately homes?

Well, exactly. Dangerous Golf's main issue is that it's not silly enough, amazingly. It's a game about a golf ball that looks and acts like a miniature pissed sun, and yet it takes place in the men's toilets of somewhere or other. Or a kitchen. What?

Anyway, forget all that, because I'm still thinking about PES 2017, or as it's informally known The Future Best Game ever. No pressure, Konami, I'm sure it will all work out fine.

Tom was right, you know: Dead Island isn't as bad as you remember, even if it does still suffer from its fair share of issues.

There's something about the setting that I will always have a fondness for: a paradise island overrun with legions of the undead, the kind of thing I'm surprised Resident Evil hasn't dared to stray into. The remake's lighting and colouration has a slight impact on tone, with the bright, sun-soaked beaches now appearing a little dimmer and washed out, clearly inspired by the hazier look of Dying Light. And that's a good thing, effectively reflecting the mood of something Very Bad having happened in an otherwise Very Nice place.

The dialogue and voice acting is still beyond bad, of course, and because it's an old game under those new lighting and engine upgrades, it can still look stuck halfway between a last-gen and current-gen game at times. But from the first few hours of play I'm enjoying it quite a bit.

Dying Light is still the better game (and to be honest, this has made me want to revisit that), but for the remaster’s relatively low asking price, I wouldn't have many problems recommending it to those who were always intrigued by Dead Island or veterans tempted to go back.

Yeah, I don't mean to be boring, but it's still Overwatch for me. It's got to the point now that there are some very good players capable of amazing things with their hero of choice, but at least everyone's stopped playing as fucking Reaper now (unless it's an entire team of Reapers so they can do a hilarious picture at the end and post it on Reddit or whatever people do). In any case, the Play of the Game is usually something ridiculous, and escalating all the time. The longer I play the game the less likely it seems I'll ever get one, when logic dictates it should work the other way around.

On a side note, I've also been playing Hatoful Boyfriend on the bus to and from work, because it's on mobile now. It is a ridiculous game and I don't understand any of it. Why is a school for pigeons large enough to fit a human in it? How did pigeons become the dominant species anyway? What would the practicalities of a pigeon dating a human even be?

My husband says that I pay more attention to pigeons than I do to him, and that I'd probably like him more if he pecked at cigarette butts, and puffed himself up to look artificially fat and chased me around the flat. He started making pigeon noises at me yesterday. None of that is even a lie.

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