E3 is usually pretty good at throwing up some surprises, that is if they're not all leaked online the week prior. We're hoping this year is no different, so have collectively picked the games we'll be really excited about if revealed. It's our four most wished for games of E3 2016. Be warned, Dave isn't usually allowed to talk openly about his 'dreams'.
If you have at any point listened to the incredible VideoGamer UK podcast, you'll likely have heard that I'm desperate for PGR to make a return. PGR2, 3, and 4 are amazing games and the franchise needs (deserves) to be reborn on current-gen. Please do it Microsoft. Get some of the original team back on board. Hell, I'd settle for PGR2 remastered as it had the best cities and tracks.
I'm not sure if this is more or less likely than PGR rising from the dead, and is also something we've discussed on the podcast many times over, but a Jurassic Park game in the style of Alien Isolation could be incredible. Travel to island, find it deserted, discover dinos have run amok and killed mostly everyone. You must survive and fight back. Can SEGA and Creative Assembly get on this please.
Look, it's never going to happen, but if we're dreaming about which games we'd like to see at E3, we might as well dream for the best. It's been almost three years since GTA 5 so Rockstar has to be working on something, but it almost certainly won't be on show next week. I'd settle for some GTA 5 single-player DLC, though, or, of course, a new Red Dead.
But there's plenty more I'd like to see, too: a new Crash Bandicoot (and no, I don't mean another Activision one); Sonic 2016 (although that's looking like it'll be revealed next month); Resident Evil 7; Perfect Dark 3; Banjo-Kazooie 3; a NEW CONKER'S BAD FUR DAY. On second thought, maybe I should have written this piece about that instead…
Hear me out, right. Dragon Age: Inquisition came out in 2014, the last DLC for it was nearly a year ago, and we know they're working on a new one because basically everyone working on it is a massive troll. One producer, Mark Darrah, is especially bad. He recently tweeted a blue square, without comment, which I retweeted saying that it'd got to the point I didn't know what was a Dragon Age tease any more, and then he retweeted that retweet. He knows exactly what he's doing, the flash bastard.
What I'm saying is: the time is now. A 30 second teaser trailer would be ideal. Look, I'll describe it for you based on current trends and what I assume the themes of the new Dragon Age will be, then the lads at BioWare can knock it up in time for next week:
Music fades up: a soulful acoustic cover of Everybody Wants to Rule the World, shit, wait, that's been done. I meant a cover of The Sound of Silence, wait, also done, I meant True Colours – okay fuck it, go all out, Poison by Alice Cooper. The screen is in an extreme close up of something and is zooming out; meanwhile the shot is intercut with flashes of the various races from Dragon Age battling cool monsters and using magic and stuff. As the zoom out completes it turns out that, damn, it was a close up on Solas, that dastardly elf from Inquisition – or, more likely given how the trailer needs to appeal to as many people as possible, the ambiguous new protagonist of the game – but whoever it is they look a bit sad/conflicted and everything is going to hell in a handbasket behind them. I would just prefer Solas because he was my boyfriend in Inquisition. Thank you for taking these notes on board.
Yeah alright, I know I'll probably get Mass Effect Andromeda instead. Don't go on about it.
Listen: I have no dream game for E3, because the games I want already exist, or are about to exist. New Resident Evil. New Hitman episodes. New PES. They're already a thing. It's fine.
What I would like, however, is a time machine, back to 2001, when I discovered that Resident Evil Remake was a real thing. True story: on that very day, I was walking into town, thinking to myself how cool it would be to have a remake of the original Resident Evil. I open Edge magazine and BANG, there it was. Amazing. I'm not saying I willed it into being, but I'm also not saying that's not a possibility. Yes.
Anyway, a time machine would be good. As for actual games? Bully 2, Red Dead 2, GTA DLC. Bye.