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Movies out today: 26 August 2016

I’m so excited that Star Trek Beyond is finally opening so you guys can see it! Just don’t get distracted by all the other new releases, an alarming amount of which feature ladies in swimwear. Oh, and Kevin Spacey as a cat.

Oh man did I enjoy this movie. It’s fast paced and super fun, but at the same time it’s a more mature Star Trek than I’ve seen before. They’ve also managed to balance the nostalgia with the new properly this time. Most importantly, they get (almost) everything right. If you had any leftover issues with the franchise after Into Darkness like I did, you’ll definitely be happy with Beyond.

Book now at the one lonely Ster Kinekor theatre that is showing it in 2D
Book now for 3D at Nu Metro or Ster Kinekor
Book now for IMAX, exclusive to Ster Kinekor
Book now for 4DX, exclusive to Nu Metro

The promo pictures I’ve seen for The Shallows honestly make this movie look like it’s just a flimsy excuse to have Blake Lively in a bikini. And while it might be just that, somehow despite the B-movie cheesiness, they also managed to make a pretty decent and entertaining thriller. Plus, you know, Blake Lively in a bikini, there’s always that to look forward to.

Book now at Nu Metro or Ster Kinekor

Tom Brand is a go-getting businessman, whose workaholic lifestyle has distanced him from his beautiful wife and their adorable daughter. He finds himself in a mystical pet store to get a last minute birthday gift, where he selects a majestic tomcat. After a terrible accident on the way to the party, Tom wakes up to discover he’s trapped inside the body of the cat and has been adopted by his own family. If any hope exists of returning to his family as the husband and father they deserve, Tom will have to learn why he has been placed in this peculiar situation and the great lengths he must go to earn back his human existence.

Kevin Spacey as a cat… let that sink in for a second. Kevin Spacey… as a cat. What?! Who came up with this idea, seriously? I had some serious misgivings about this movie (to put it mildly) when the first trailer came out, and it looks like I was right. I don’t even need to tell how bad it is or why, just accept that this is a thing that should not have happened so we can sweep it under the rug and pretend it doesn’t exist.

Book now at Nu Metro or Ster Kinekor

There are no reviews for Mechanic: Resurrection out yet, and I haven’t even seen the first one, so I’m winging this on the trailer alone. Um, let see. So… Jason Statham is Jason Statham-ing it up, there’s guns, grenades and explosions galore, Jessica Alba in a bikini (what is it with the bikini-clad actresses this week?) and Tommy Lee Jones doing a bizarre Hugh Hefner impression. So, yeah, that’s basically it. You can tell it’s just going to be another crazy, shoot-em-up style action flick, no plot to speak of but who cares when Jason Statham is kicking all manner of butt? I’ve left the review site links below in case you care enough to check them out later.

Book now at Nu Metro or Ster Kinekor

When Clara Brand discovers that her husband, Bernard, is cheating on her with her friend and colleague, Anais, things take a turn for the worse. Caught between a collapsing marriage, a ruined friendship and being a mother to her two children, Clara moves her family from Johannesburg to Cape Town in an attempt to start afresh. Here, Clara rediscovers her passion for food, begins new friendships and re-enters the world of dating for the first time in twenty years, all the while plotting her revenge on the people who wronged her.

Ok so Afrikaans comedies obviously aren’t my thing, but Dis Koue Kos, Skat will probably hit the right notes with its target audience. The trailer had me mildly entertained, up until the weird revenge bit against the stereotypical blonde poppie that she lost her middle aged, balding, dad-stache toting husband to. That’s where it left the realm of typical rom-com and to a left turn to super cheesiness.

Book now at Nu Metro or Ster Kinekor

The antithesis of our first local release, Dora’s Peace is a character driven movie about the dark and seedy underworld of drugs, prostitution and organised crime in Hillbrow. Not exactly a barrel of laughs, but nevertheless it’s a welcome respite from all the glossy local rom-coms we’ve been subjected to recently, even if that respite is unflinchingly hard and gritty.

Book now at Nu Metro or Ster Kinekor

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